Navigating Life & Why Staying the Course Isn't Always Best

*This post originally appeared on my former blog, The Idea Mom.

Why is it so hard, as adults to find direction?

We are capable of making decisions for our children. For our parents. For anyone who asks our opinion (or who doesn’t). Everyone but ourselves sometimes. We move in the direction which yields the momentum to push us forward, and in doing so we are capable of big things. Of running companies, raising families, reaching higher and further with each accomplishment.

But what happens when we stop? When we pause to ask ourselves:

Am I moving in the direction that fulfills my heart, and the purpose God has for me?

Whoa. Like for real, whoa.

We are innovators, creators, trailblazers. We globetrek the world yet still somehow here we sit, wandering lost.

Why?

Because staying the course is easier. There is comfort in the charted stars. They give the illusion of lustrous wonder, but the fact is they are still a map. A guide.

So why is it sometimes so hard to wander off course to discover our bliss?

One word, lovelies. Doubt.

We stare at a blank page and watch the cursor mock us as it flashes. We lament over finances. Are our kids in the right school? Are they in the right activities? Will this new job opportunity get me out of the financial or intellectual slump? Will taking this path put me on course to stop questioning myself even more? Instead of just changing our path, we raise hell. We make excuses. We think of all the reasons why something shouldn’t work. Why someone won’t hire us. Why we aren’t good enough for love. Why we’ll never lose the weight. We make noise. And that’s all it is. Noise. We scream in silence. We place blame where blame doesn’t belong.

And let’s be real here. Blame has no place in the world my God or your God has created. Who cares that you’ve always wanted to change careers or move to the mountains, but have been too afraid to do it? What does it matter that you no longer see yourself in the mirror under the layers of false yous that are hiding beneath extra weight or addiction? God doesn’t care. He doesn’t care who or what or why you blame for your shortcomings because God doesn't waste energy looking for imperfections. Because He created you to be like Him. And He is perfect. And so are you.

He sees not your faults, but only your potential. He sees not your pain, but only the promise of your triumph. If he could will you to bet on yourself (which He could), he would. But He doesn’t interfere because He blessed YOU with the free will to lead your best life. And He honors your decisions.

I hear my husband and I telling our children all the time: If you are upset or angry, that is your choice. And it is the biggest choice each of us makes every moment of our lives. We can choose to place blame or judgement, calling upon fear to keep us from exploring our potential; or we can choose to be happy...on earth as it is in heaven.

As it is, in heaven.

Those words tell us that even in deciding by our own free will to alter our life’s path here on earth, it is God’s will what is done from Heaven. The nudging, the calling, the yearning you feel to make a change in your life is God. We are in Him. He is in us.

Just as with our own children, we want what is best for them, we know that when they walk out the door, they will do as they please. We can nudge, and call, and yearn for them to see their fullest potential and to live a fulfilling and joyous life, but it is ultimately up to them.

And so maybe our fear doesn't fall on the difficulties of moving toward our bliss. Perhaps it’s instead a fear of finding and feeling more of a connection and closeness to God, and the responsibility that we assume goes along with it. Like the way kids feel in those young adult days when parents become less parent and more peer. When the parent has been talking to you you’re entire life and you’re finally listening and understanding on a whole new level, it’s new territory. Uncharted. But if you follow your heart instead of the stars, it can ultimately be a more fulfilling path toward a relationship where love and knowledge abound, and work and fulfillment aren’t mutually exclusive.

So next time you feel the urge to start a new project, or take a class, or do something to better yourself or others, do it. Don't let fear of the unknown stand in your way. Ask yourself not what do you stand to lose, but rather, what wondrous new things do you have to gain? The possibilities are infinite.

What do you think? Was there a time you went off course or spoke off-book? How did it go? I'd love to hear about it in the comments below.

mental health, healing, health, inspiration, faith, career, caregiver